It’s been a long while since I’ve posted on here, but I just figured why wait until the new year to make changes if the mood strikes now! If you follow along on Instagram, you know I was basically miserable towards the end of my pregnancy and actually went over my due date by a week. I gave birth to little miss Harper Belle on September 25^thand a little chubster she was, weighing in at nine pounds. My biggest worry about bringing home baby #2 was Julien. He is the first kid on both sides of our families and is absolutely spoiled. Surprisingly, he’s actually taking it very well. He loves Harper and always ask to hold her, hug her and kiss her. What I find interesting is that any frustrations he has is all geared towards Ben and I. He’s constantly testing boundaries with us, mentally and physically (like not listening when we say no and also pretending he’s a super hero when running his little body into my legs, full force). It’s also coming just before he turns three, and I’ve heard a lot about ‘threenagers’ and them being very in their feelings. I see that happening now. Julien will run off to his room and close the door when he’s upset. Am I weird for thinking it’s adorable!?

So back to Harper! The beginning was a little tough. We had latch issues, a choking scare that landed us in the ER, the whole house down with the flu, and then I had mastitis! Not off to a good stat, but everything always comes in waves, right? Glad to report it is all better now. I’m not going to bore you with the ‘she’s a good baby’ talk. Like all babies, she has her moments, some great that will have me laughing and smiling for a long time and some bad that have me borderline in tears. She just started intentionally smiling in the last few weeks and it’s my absolute favourite thing. No, scratch that. My absolute favourite thing is when she smiles at Julien. She’s obsessed with him. When he walks by, or even just hearing his voice, she’s all smiles. He loves reading to her or telling her stories - it’s seriously the cutest. 

As for me, I’m doing well! I can’t like – and this is probably not PC to say – but with Julien, I found the first 3-4 months, pretty crappy…exhausting…shitty. During that time, I wouldn’t say I was miserable, but I was in a zombie state and convincing myself I was happy. I guess I’d classify that as the occasional baby blues. Hindsight is 20/20. It wasn’t until he was like five months when I was genuinely really happy that I realized  what I felt before. I mean so much changes, it’s no surprise. This time around, I definitely am enjoying this state a lot more. I think it’s because I know just how fleeting it is. Also, I’m getting some sleep! Sleep makes such a difference. Julien was up every 2-3 hours for five months! Harper sleeps in 5, sometimes 6 hour blocks and it’s incredible! Sleep was my second biggest fear and thank God this baby came through for me! We’ll see where that four month sleep regression lands us!

I always wondered how parents of multiples did it. It just looks like so much work to have two or more kids. Julien alone is a handful! The thought of a needy, crying baby gave me a lot of anxiety while I was pregnant. Now that we’re in the thick of it, I still don’t know the secret. Some days I feel like I’m rocking it, other days I think to myself I have no business having kids. Fact, I missed Harper’s two month checkup a couple days ago because I thought it was a different day of the week - #momfail. But honestly, I’m just happy to have them fed, bathed  and alive at the end of the day! That’s always a #momwin in my book!

home with the little one

Happy hump day! So recently we made the decision for me to stay home with our little one for now. He's 13 months old and it has literally been the best time ever. Julien is a pretty fun hearted kid. Obviously he has his tantrums - some serious, throw your body on the ground and kick tantrums. Oh, and there's the waving his arms around and scratching my face and neck kind of tantrums, but I digress.

Our days are pretty fun though. Julien wakes up between 7:30 - 8:00 and he's playful from the second he wakes up. He babbles and babbles until I come in, and then proceeds to play tag. He literally runs to every corner of the crib with the deepest belly laughs. Then it's morning bottle and some cartoons. Breakfast is about an hour later. From then we'll usually read books, sing and dance. Julien has just discovered how to move his little hips (and big butt) so it's pretty amusing.

After the morning nap, we'll usually do some sort of outdoor activity. That can be lunch with friends, going for a walk, going to the park, grocery shopping or going to those baby reading and singing classes at the library. My husband works for himself so his schedule can sometimes be flexible. On those day, we're able to do these things together. My mother in law also takes him about twice a week and they go swimming and have lunch. It's the sweetest thing ever.

I wanted to know when you moms out there started colouring and painting with your little one. I feel like it's time to give him a creative outlet. What other activities are you doing with them. I'd love to hear any suggestions!

PS: Julien is wearing my infinity scarf. His jacket is always hanging in the back (all jackets! Always!), so I needed a solution to keep his neck warm. Instead of spending money on a scarf, I just put my infinity scarf on him and that did the trick.

cold front

It has been absolutely freezing in Toronto. It's the worst! I'd almost rather have rain. I swear I'm not even being dramatic. One of our favourite things to do is go to the outdoor parks in our neighborhood so Julien can have a little run around. But it's just been so cold that I think it would be torture for him. When there's cold wind, he scrunches his face and looks like he's gasping for air. It's so sad (yet so adorable and hilarious). So we're limited to indoor activities, like the mall and brunches. He's become a pro at eating in restaurants though! There are not many situations worse than a screaming/crying baby in public (like a restaurant) and everyone's looking at you like do something. But really, you don't need them to be looking at you because as a parent, you know and you're already freaking out that your kid is making a disturbance and your hustling to make them stop. So maybe this cold front has been good for something... Even still, I think there will be a day above zero next week! I'm literally making outdoor plans!

         

     
     

julien turns one

My baby is one today! Where has the time gone!?!? Mamas out there, is this what the rest of his life will feel like? Gone in a flash and next thing I know he's married with kids? Honestly, this is such a bittersweet feeling. I love watching up grow up and become more independent, but I also hate that he's becoming more independent. His little personality has developed so much. So at one, my little guy is walking, he says Mama and Dada, gives kisses and high fives and gives you something he's holding if you ask for it. He loves being thrown in the air or slammed down on the couch or the bed. If he's far away from you and you ask for a kiss, sometimes he'll do a little fake out where he'll come to you and last minute run away giggling. He love his food (literally everything), particularly feeding himself, unless it's yogurt. Then he'll happily let me feed him.

I just can't believe this day has come! So on his first birthday, we're flying to visit my parents and by tomorrow we'll be on the beach celebrating all day. In the meantime, I'm sharing just a few of my favourite pictures of Julien from a couple days old to now. Have a wonderful day!

pumpkin patch fun

Happy Halloween! Yesterday we went to the pumpkin patch with Julien and he had so much fun. There actually weren't that many pumpkins, but he wouldn't have known the difference. I never really went to pumpkin patches growing up and neither did my husband, so this was fun for us too. This is definitely going to be a tradition for us. Maybe it's a bit to soon, but this is getting me excited for Christmas time. Ive always been a person who thinks talking Christmas before December is too soon, but I think I'm jumping ship now. I can't wait to figure out how were going to do things and set our own little traditions. 

mommy diaries: 9 months in

This post is long overdue, so I figured I'd do a 9 months in post. I had the best intentions of sharing this journey on the blog, but then life got in the way. So here it is, 9 moths later. So I think I shared here before that I had a pretty good pregnancy. The first trimester wasn't hard for me. I barely had nausea, and by barely, I mean maybe once. I had tender nipples, but that's about as annoying as it god. Second trimester was a breeze. I continued to feel great and even kept on going to spin class two-three times a week. Last trimester was when it got a little bit harder. I started feeling really heavy and short of breath often. But still, it was pretty good considering what some women go through. I know every pregnancy is different, but I sure as hell do pray I get this type of pregnancy if we ever have another one! I ended up having a c-section because my baby wasn't turning. He was sitting cross-legged like a Buddha from about 32 weeks onwards. Luckily, I ended up making it to my scheduled c-section date and all went perfect.

Now let's get into the good stuff. The first night was a dream! I was exhausted but the joy of holding Julien and staring at him just kept me going. It really is love at first sight. It's overwhelming. My heart was bursting of happiness, but I also felt a little scared of what was to come because now he was real. I was terrified of going home and caring for an actual little being. The hospital staff had been great. So fast  forward two days, and we're home. I had my mom here for three weeks. This was a life saver. We had no idea how much work we were getting into. When she left, were happy about getting our space back, (living downtown Toronto in a townhouse condo doesn't equal much space around here!) but oh my gosh. I was exclusively pumping (more about that in another post), and it was time consuming. I barely had time to do anything. My husband is self-employed, so he's around quite a bit. Still, I find it so and cahotic. I have so much respect for single moms. So much respect!

The first three months were nutty and amazing. There were days I couldn't even shower! Julien was napping three times a day, but only for 30 minutes! Without fail - 30 minutes! What can you get done in 30 minutes? Nothing! Between pumping and just cleaning up or taking 10 minutes to just sit and do nothing, there was no free time. Somehow though, you just manage and keep on moving. He was waking twice a night at this point. Some babies sleep through the night by like 3-4 months, but we were pretty okay with that. He would wake and have a bottle and back to sleep. It took about 10-15 minutes. And he always fell back asleep without any fuss. And then came the 4 month sleep regression. Holy shit. That was hard. He would literally wake up and cry for two hours. Sometimes, he wouldn't even cry. He would sit there quietly in his crib staring at the door. Can I just say, that was some creepy shit on the baby monitor. He looked possessed. It was hilarious. That lasted about 10 days, and then he started waking just once. So we made progress!

It wasn't until the fourth month that I realized how hard the first three months were. You just do what you need to do and don't complain. Looking back at it today, for me, right now, the first three months were not the best. Maybe it's that first time parent thing, maybe it was the pumping madness, or maybe just the exhaustion. He was adorable and I love looking at his little face, so that made up for it. I have friends with older babies, and I was always just looking forward to things like him holding up his own head, him smiling, him playing with things. As those things starting rolling, I was elated. Other moms love the first three months more than anything. Neither is wrong or right and that's okay.

We traveled to England with Julien when he was 6 months. The flight there was amazing. While we were there, he learned how to crawl. This was amazing, but horrible timing! The flight back wasn't as great. He didn't want to just sit. So we did a whole lot of walking up and down the aisles (by we, I mean Ben!). But it was okay, no major cries or anything. Still pretty good. We also sleep trained him at 6 months and it's been smooth sailing since then! He sleeps 12-13 hours a night with no wakes (unless he's sick) and has two naps; the first is an hour and half and the second is 30 minutes to an hour.

At 9 months, Julien isn't walking yet, but oh by gosh does the kid move a lot! He's crawling so fast and walking while assisted (holding on the the wall or the couch or whatever is there). I'm having so much fun with him. It's amazing to see the all the new things he learns every day. It's fascinating to see his personality more and more every day. He's a really happy baby. Truly. He smiles and laughs all the time. His laugh is seriously my favourite sound on planet earth. He's also picked up a few bad habits though. He's learned how to start this almost fake cry to get his way. It's both irritating and hilarious.

So this has been my experience. I can't speak for anyone else. I'm absolutely loving every moment right now. I can't even imagine going back to work and being away from him every day! Don't get me wrong though; date nights and girl time and even alone time is necessary. This 100% contributes to my sanity. Being a mom has definitely been the toughest thing, but it's been the best. I really am not one to give advice, but I do want to say that we're all doing our very best. So remember to be kind to yourself!

happy new year!

Happy New Year! 2017 is already here and it's crazy! Wishing you all prosperity, happiness and lots of love for the new year! This is definitely going to be the best year yet for us as we are starting our new journey as parents. Speaking of which, meet Julien Mackinlay Yellowlees! He came to us on December 13th at 8 pounds and 10 ounces. I can't believe he's almost 3 weeks old already. I'll have a separate post on his birth story in the coming weeks. For now, I'm just busy at home with this little one. Outfit posts should resume within a couple of weeks, I swear!

xoxo